


Secrets, Holograms, Lifeforms, and Droids

by CueSue



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Resistance (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2019-11-01 14:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17868689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CueSue/pseuds/CueSue
Summary: Commissioned as a spy, Kaz really feels the part now. With learning secrets come increased risks and dangers. What will he discover? How many risks and dangers will he be willing to face? Thanks much to all who read. Star Wars Resistance ;.) Kaz Xiono/Synara San //Kaz Xiono/Torra Doza





	1. Chapter 1

Kazuda wanted his assignment as a spy to go well. He wanted to make a difference, and have Jarek Yeager respect him. Kaz had something this time, something big to tell Yeager.

In Captain Doza's closet hung an Imperial uniform. Had Imanuel Doza served? Did he plan on reestablishing ties with his former associates, who had insidiously transformed into The First Order? Thinking these things made Kaz's head reel. Did Torra know about her father? Knowing Torra, if her father had been an Imperial, and she found out, she would 'outrun light speed.' If she even believed her father had been one of them.

The Empire…still casting its dark shadow…

The more Kaz thought about it, the more caught up in a tailspin he became. He told himself to calm down. _First things first_ , flashed in his brain.

He needed to divulge the news to Yeager. Maybe he already knew. Kaz rose from his bunk, giving BB-8 the high sign. The orange and white droid circled around a few times, excited over Kaz's excitement, which was contagious. Never mind that the inorganic in the room could never catch anything viable from a human.

Excitement transcended cells and circuitry.

"Let's go find him. This is very important information."

BB-8's head went counterclockwise to the rest of its spherical body.

The two were just about to leave. His quarters' visitor alarm sounded. If it was Jace Rucklin, he might as well go away. Kaz wasn't anxious to see him anytime soon. The guy had it in for him. It wasn't as though Kaz had set out to ruin his racer. Surprised, Kaz gaped. Torra was calling, standing with arms akimbo. Her expression was as determined as ever, the usual way she looked.

"Kaz, I'm still pumped! We have your BB-8 to thank for our still being alive. Let's promise that we never go into an incineration unit ever again."

"That's got my vote. No worries. I never will. Dodging laser beams isn't my idea of fun. That was no game, even though our treating it like it was saved us. Thanks again to your quick thinking."

"Kaz, how would you like to have dinner with me and my father?" Torra thought it was a magnificent idea, judging by the ecstatic look on her exotically-decorated face.

Kaz liked the teardrop-like dots around her eyes. They made her look whimsical and spunky. But, sitting down with a possible one-time Imperial henchman didn't appeal to Kaz. Why couldn't it be just the two of them, Torra and he?

"Well?" Torra waited patiently, but her patience was at an end. "Do you want to eat with my dad and me? Or not?"

Rapidly, yet sounding somewhat sheepish, Kaz quietly replied, "Yeah, sure. I'd like that fine." He kept nodding.

"Good! Because I already told my father you would! See you later, at the normal dinner hour, in my father's private Mess."

Before Kaz got to get a word in, Torra took off in a flash, muttering what had sounded like, Buggles needs a walk.

 _She's always walking that crazy, spoiled voorpak_ , Kaz silently griped. "Okay, Torra, see ya then."

To BB-8, Kaz said, "C'mon, let's find Yeager. This intel can't wait."

Right on Kaz's heels, BB-8 obediently followed.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaz, as the less than knowledgable assistant, wasn't liking this, not one bit. He was a pilot, not a store clerk. He used to think he 'got this.' Not so much these days working here full-time because he had a debt to pay off. The responsibility was brutal. It was hoped that he would learn subtle differences between parts and tools, but so far that wasn't happening. The more he had to interact with difficult customers and his even more difficult bosses, Flix and Orka, the more he dreaded showing up each day. At least he had BB-8 as his trustworthy, and most of all savvy assistant.

Bitey and BB-8 had become great friends even though the willful gorg was addicted to chewing tempting fingers. He was fixated on chomping and gnawing all digits close to his mouth, full of razor sharp teeth. The little bi-ovoid droid was too quick for Bitey. Munch-time meant nothing to BB-8, but Kaz had to be very careful, or his fingers would become Bitey's regular snack sticks.

"You chomp on my fingers one more time, you're history!"

Bitey was eyeing the fingers of Kaz's left hand closely. The gray-purple-skinned amphibian-ish creature's mouth twitched. His turquoise eyes twinkled, mesmerized by the human's delicious looking fingers.

In the background, BB-8 could be heard 'snickering.' He rolled up on the two like a pint-sized peacemaker.

Just then, Kaz's bosses, Flix and Orka, happy that Bitey, their pet, was in good hands with Kaz, were being their eccentric, hyper selves. They demanded that Kaz mind the shop as well while they went to lunch. The pair liked taking long lunches. Were they lunching, or napping? Kaz had his suspicions.

"You got it, Boss," the eager-sounding young man responded, watching his superiors leave. Kaz hoped no one would appear, so he wouldn't have to wait on anyone. That last customer, a surly Bespian, who'd talked much too loud, had gotten on Kaz's last nerve.

Bitey had inched closer to Kaz's fingers with a drooling mouth, confident that the human wouldn't mind losing one or two fingers.

BB-8 alerted Kaz about Bitey's being too close for comfort.

"Thanks, pal." Kaz, poised to pat the droid on one of its rounded sides, halted when an unusually tall Abednedo came calling, insisting that he needed a power flux replacement. And not just any power flux, oh no. An attenuated power flux, specifically for modulating spectral flux density. Those specifics were enough to make poor Kaz's head spin, immediately followed by loop-de-loops. Right about the time Kaz nearly passed out, BB-8 came through like the star he could be.

As the long-faced, with widely spaced fleshy nostrils, Abednedo departed, with a dazzling smile working his tendrilled mouth, Kaz whispered askance to BB-8, "You've just earned yourself a thorough lubrication later on, buddy. Practically everything I'm learning in this place is coming from you."

BB-8 rolled forward and back, then coasted from side-to-side, acknowledging Kaz's evident appreciation.

Meanwhile, taking advantage of Kaz's lapse in attention, Bitey sank its gleaming, pointed teeth into the fingers of Kaz's right hand.

"Yeow-yeow-eeee!" he screamed, the pain excruciating. The scars were piling up. Kaz yelled at Bitey, shaking the annoying creature off, "That's it! You're cute and ugly, and I've got to hunt up some kind of muzzle for you before you really bite off every last one of my fingers. Never gonna happen! I won't go through the rest of my life with nubs!"

Bitey opened its big mouth and...gurgled. BB-8 came up from behind it, stuck out a conductor rod and shocked the toothy little beast. Bitey leaped atop BB-8's dome and licked the orange and white machine's one-of-a-kind face.

"And that's what friends are for," Kaz reminded, chuckling as he grinned. "Bitey, once we're done here, I'm getting you some fish-bits. Hopefully, you'll develop a taste for them and _not_..." He wriggled his fingers at the impetuous creature. " _These_!"


	3. Chapter 3

Kaz wrestled with himself; his emotions ran high. Angry, he shut his eyes, blocking out his cramped quarters, which seemed to swim before his eyes. He could pretend that what appeared true, wasn't. Synara San was one of them now, a Colossus newcomer, just as he was. There couldn't be anything shady about her. Certainly, she was no spy for the _pirates_ , nor _The First Order_ ; she just couldn't be. No way!

Kaz rammed his fists into the rumpled bedding, and shook his head. Jarek Yeager would call him crazy. These were serious times that called for serious attitudes. Going gaga for a pretty girl, who might have secret ties to criminals, or worse, power-hungry maniacs? That was just plain using bantha poodoo for brains! Yeah, those would be Yeager's thoughts to the letter.

Kaz made a sour expression for no one to see as he sat alone in his drab room. This was the first time since he had gotten here that he felt lonely. Why, just the other day, Synara and he had laughed and joked together like they'd been honest friends for ages. Kaz hung his head down in sadness.

_Sy, I won't believe it until I hear it from you._

But, what made him so sure that she would actually be straight with him if she had her own agenda?

He gestured to some nameless phantom with a gesture of contempt. Life was just too unfair sometimes. His father's words echoed inside his head.

_"Life is life. It never claimed it would be fair…"_

Sucking his teeth, Kaz groused. He really liked this exotically-skinned girl with her uniquely-adorned face. How he felt about her made all the difference. What if she was a spy for the bad guys? Would he allow himself to be compromised just because he was crushing on her?

He disagreed, what he had begun feeling for her went deeper than a fickle crush.

His heart bucked. The palms of his hands were all sweaty. Again, he thought: _I really like Sy. I keep getting the feeling that she's starting to like me the way I like her too. At least I hope she does. And, hey, I'm a spy too! Maybe…if she is a spy for the wrong side, I can convince her to come over to ours._

That thought gave him some hope, making him more determined than ever to go seek Synara out to have that frank talk. What if she wouldn't listen? Even if he poured his heart out? Overwhelming feelings of pessimism rushed in on Kaz. Upset, he took decisive action, springing to his feet light speed quick.

At the exact moment the doors of his quarters opened, there stood Torra 'the scamp' Doza smack in front of him. Of course her prized pet, Buggles was with her too, wouldn't you know. This kid never went anywhere without her little voorpak shadow.

"Hey, Kaz!"

"Hi, Torra." Apologetically, he hurriedly did his best trying to side-step past her and the eight-legged furball. "Sorry, kiddo. Gotta run."

"But—but don't you want to play Drone Blaster with me? You demanded a rematch. Let's go! I'm even better now than when I beat you the first times."

Wagging his head while sprinting away, Kaz firmly, but diplomatically declined. "Not now, Torra. I have something very important I've got to take care of. I'll catch ya later."

" _Where are you going?"_ she imposed. Clearly, Torra was taken aback. She expected Kaz to drop everything when she wanted him to, when it suited her.

"I've gotta find Synara—to ask her something. It's very important I speak to her right away!"

Kaz was nearly out of sight. He wasn't expecting Torra to pursue him, but she was, tailing him, right on his heels.

"Why do you have to speak with her _now_? Do it later. Play Drone Blaster with me first!" Torra had all the makings of a fighter pilot drill commander, one day. Buggles was yipping at Kaz, adding its unsolicited complaint along with Torra's. Maybe Kaz would rub its belly, the creature hoped.

"Quit following me!"

" _No_!" Torra loudly whined, serious about keeping up with him.

Kaz ran faster, thinking that he'd lose her once he made two or three tricky turns around corners. He was wrong; there was no shaking Torra, and her pesky pet. Slowing down, he wheeled on her. "What do you want?"

"One game of Drone Blaster. Just _one_!" She considered letting him win, but didn't tell him she'd let him. She'd think about it. "And I'll stay out of your way…"

"Promise?" Kaz inveigled.

"Yeah." Smiling, she gave a little laugh. He was putty in her hands. He didn't know this, yet, but he was going to be her boyfriend. She was working on it. She wasn't too young for him, and she definitely wasn't too young to have a boyfriend. Kaz was so brave, coming after her the way he had to save her from those awful pirates. He'd come after her because…she was important to him.

"Okay, then deal. Just one, and I'm done."

"Anything you say, Kaz," Torra replied, handing Buggles off to him so she could link arms with him to saunter off arm-in-arm.

It was possible, he considered, that he could bump into Synara on the way to the video gaming, and ask her if they could get together later that day.


	4. Chapter 4

Synara had to go, but Kaz didn't want her to. But if she didn't leave right away, she was going to get it. She was a spy for the pirates, and the First Order wouldn't rest until they got their dirty hands on her. Yes, she was a spy. That didn't matter. He knew she was a good person, and that was what mattered. It mattered most of all. What was vital now was keeping Synara safe. Kaz must keep her safe at all costs. His blood pressure high, Kaz glanced every which way around, fearing that the First Order stormtroopers were about to cut off all escape for Synara.

He had to think faster, yet at the same time, a big part of him couldn't come up with a way to protect her fast enough. He wanted her to be here, with him. A selfish wish, but one so strong. He shook his head, hoping to clear it. Getting her off of the Colossus by transport hadn't worked out. It would have, but Synara had had another idea. She had doubled back to save him from getting picked up by the same stormtroopers that were after her. Being trapped was paralysis, a loathsome feeling.

Kaz broke out in a cold sweat.

_Pirate spy...or not...I care about Synara_... _if I didn't have the responsibility of spying for the resistance._.. _I'd...go with...her._

Wait! There was still a way! When one portal closed, another opened. The escape pods. No one was guarding them. Synara could smuggle herself out in one of them.

"Thanks for sticking your neck out, trying to help me, Kaz. I'll never forget what you did for me."

He felt the warmth of his blushing color his face. He yearned for telling her how much she meant to him, divulge that what she was involved with didn't matter to him. These were crazy, warped times they were forced to live through. She had brought excitement and deep-seated contentment into his life. His father, Senator Hamato Xiono, would've reeled in shock if he knew of his son's espionage and the entanglements that went along with it.

"I wish I could do more," Kaz committed, antsy for her to tuck herself into the escape pod and flee to safety.

Nestled in the cramped pod, she gazed at him, wistful. What was she waiting for? _Jettison, hurry! The longer you linger, the more danger you put him in._

She wasn't worried for herself. First Order goons, and the hierarchy behind them, didn't terrify her. She knew how to handle bullies; she'd dealt with them for most of her chaotic life. She'd grown up a scrappy scavenger, a Warbird gang member...tried and true. Kragan Gorr, the leader of the pirate gang, wasn't sorry she was working for him. He anxiously awaited her return, he was counting on it.

"Synara, wherever you wind up, I hope only good things for you. That's what you deserve...always."

"As do you, Kaz…"

Pity, her having been strict about closing herself off. She had the feeling this guy was worth the time and effort getting to know. She leaned forward, without words, encouraging him to meet her halfway, which was much, much better than no way. They might never have this chance again, and she wanted to take this chance. Make a bit of happiness and connection happen before she abandoned the Colossus, and this brave, although naïve, young man. Yes, she really should have given him a chance. Guys like Kaz didn't come along every day.

"Hurry, Synara. They're coming!" he whispered.

"Yes, I know."

Their lips were inches apart. It would've been a waste of shrinking space, so they kissed. Just long enough to know they should've done this so much sooner.

"Be safe," he mustered, filled with regret. _Go with her! Go now! Before she slips away..._

"You as well, Kaz." The melancholy smile she gave him faded as the pod's hatch closed.

He stared a while after her departure, the memory of her lips upon his fanning the loss he irresistibly felt. The noise of scrambling feet jolted him out of his reverie. He got moving before the goons in snow-blinding white seized him.


	5. Chapter 5

Missing his pirate spy had become routine for Kaz. He could've gone with her, but he hadn't done it. He could only hope that some way, somehow, he'd be with her again. If they were meant to be, then being with Synara again would happen. What might she be doing this very moment? Kaz was becoming obsessive thinking about that too. If Synara were here, would she offer to help him with the growing, ever-annoying and oppressive presence of the First Order?

That silly Stormtrooper had no right roughing up the kids, Eila and Kel. Those two had enough troubles. Still, if it hadn't been for that brief tussle, Kaz wouldn't have had the chance to get his hands on CS-515's snow white armor. Disguised as a First Order stormtrooper, Kaz had taken advantage of the situation. His reward for having been so courageous was learning a lot more about the First Order's plans for the platform.

Captain Doza was in a dangerous position, Kaz couldn't help think. But even more dangerous was the growing unrest among the Colossus' citizens. They were sick and tired of the First Order, as evidence by the protests getting more hot-tempered, vocal and aggressive each day. Kaz, trying to enjoy his soft drink in the lounge couldn't, replaying in his mind what he'd recently learned, having infiltrated Pyre's briefing. Too bad he'd been found out, but aside from that, he'd been privy to top secret, highly distressing news.

A full garrison of First Order fighters were on the way, all set to infiltrate the platform! Not only that, thanks to the stolen data rod Kaz had come by, the First Order was preparing its fleet for war!

"They're going to use the Colossus as a refueling point," muttered Kaz, staring at the blue drink in his hand, thinking dark thoughts. None of them, not Torra, nor Tam, not Neeku, nor Opeepit, and certainly not the kids, Eila and Kel were safe. Kaz swirled the last of his drink around in its sheer, transparent container, then downed the spritzy, light-tasting beverage. He thought to get himself another, but put that off.

Jarek Yeager was supposed to meet him here, but so far he was a no-show.

"Synara," whispered Kaz quietly, "wherever you are, I hope you're as far away from the First Order and its gloom as you can get." He shut his eyes and sighed deeply. "If you can hear me, know that I'll always be ready to help you. Like I helped you get off of the Colossus. I'm your friend for life, Syn, don't ever forget that-"

"Daydreaming again, Kaz?" Yeager smirked at him from where he stood, knowing full well what that moony, dreamy look on Kaz's face meant. The kid rarely seemed to have his mind on the task at hand.

"N-no! No-I wasn't-"

"If you say so. All right, then. What have you been up to? I haven't seen you since yesterday morning. Where'd you get off to?"

Kaz dropped the sound of his voice to barely a whisper. "I've got plenty to tell you, but not here, Yeager. It's too sensitive, and these days you never know who could be listening in."

"Okay, hotshot. Sounds like whatever it is you have to tell is a big deal."

Nodding adamantly, Kaz readily agreed. "It's the biggest deal, and there isn't much time..."


	6. Chapter 6

Blinking away nuisance tears from his sad eyes, Kaz sighed. It was more like a forlorn, wheezy gust. His vision was still blurry as he turned the Twi'lek doll over and over in his hands. He waxed sullen. _Those foul monsters_! The little owner of this soiled plaything in all probability was dead. Had been murdered and now, gone, along with the rest of her kinfolk.

Though he and Poe Dameron hadn't come across any corpses, the likelihood of there being any survivors from the devastating attack the city had suffered was nil. The cursed First Order, and the destruction which they wreaked, was responsible for such blatant obliteration of entire cultures. This loathsome regime was just that heinous and bloodthirsty. And they were occupying the Colossus in growing numbers!

Shuddering, Kaz considered his options. He'd continue spying for the Resistance, but he also knew that he'd need to be that much more careful. A lump rose in his throat. What if, despite all of the Resistance's great efforts, the First Order succeeded gaining absolute control of the galaxy?

Kaz gritted his teeth, wanting to yell. He shook his head, feeling his tears rise up again. This time several escaped his eyes, which he quickly whisked away with a brush of a hand that released the doll. The toy suddenly felt burdensome in the hand that had held on to it. His irritation evident, Kaz grimaced.

"They can't win. We won't let them."

If only it were that easy, saying what one wanted out loud, and that would make it so.

The confines of his room felt as if they were closing in on him. All at once, he got the feeling he would never see BB-8 and Poe again. How easy it had been getting attached to both the man and his amazing droid. CB-23 was great too, but not in the same way. BB-8 was personable. CB-23 was more aloof, and much more 'droidal.' CB could be counted on taking mostly everything literally, which wasn't always practical.

Living under the constant fear of swift reprisals was no way to live. Kaz's nagging unease became depression just that fast.

"Will I ever see my father again too?" he wondered aloud.

Before he got the chance to cascade farther down into his personal sinkhole of despair, the visitor at his door triggered the alert.

Not in the mood right now for entertaining anyone, Kaz disregarded the signal. His visitor wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon, as circumstance would have it. He grumbled all the way to the door.

"What do you want?"

"Kaz…"

_Oh, great…Torra. How do I get rid of her, without hurting her feelings? She's a sweet kid—kid being the operative word. She thinks I like her, but not like that. She needs to crush on someone else—not me. Absolutely not me_!

"Listen, Torra, I'm kinda busy."

"Doing what?" the pert, young racer prodded.

" _Resting_. I've had a lot of work to do lately."

"Do you know that your new droid is out here, alongside me? Is he standing guard, or something?"

"CB-23 isn't a _he_ , CB's a _she_ ," Kaz clarified, concentrating on not sounding snippy. Torra meant no harm, really. She was just too young, too 'kiddish.' Too easy for her to get wrong ideas about his interest in her. Playing video games with her once and a while was fine, but even doing too much of that wasn't a good idea. "I told her I didn't want to be disturbed, so staying out of my quarters is her idea of letting me get my needed rest."

"So you're not up for testing your skill in a new flight simulator game?" Torra wheedled. "It's a winner. The best game yet!"

"Another time, maybe. But definitely not right now. I'm beat."

Nodding, Torra got going, saying before she disappeared, "You've been acting funny ever since Synara went away."

It was hard to miss, let alone dismiss, the dash of suspicion in her voice.

Soft-pedaling, Kaz replied, "I can't help worrying about her."

"Is that all that is? Worry?" Torra threw a skeptical look at Kaz's closed door. She was prettier than Synara San. Did Kaz think so?

"Torra." His face, on the other side of the door, was inches away from it. "I worry because at least when she was here, she had us for friends. There's no telling what she has now, and I doubt they'll have her back as good as we did."

"She'll be all right, I'm sure," sluggishly Torra followed up. "Don't worry so much about her. Worry about us, having to put up with all these annoying stormtroopers. They're the worst! Mean all the time, and they make my father jumpy."

"Tell me about it," Kaz mumbled. He thought about handing off the Twi'lek doll to Torra, but maybe she'd get angry if he did that. But, maybe not; Buggles looked a little like this doll. Torra was all about liking cutesy things. Perhaps he'd gift the doll another time. "See ya later," he said more forcefully, and louder, hoping she'd take the hint, and scram.

"'Bye, Kaz. Rest up so you'll feel like matching wits with me in the new game. Guaranteed you'll like it lots."

"We'll see," he muttered, wishing he didn't feel as though everything he'd known up to now was about to change.

And—not for the better.


	7. Chapter 7

Anxiety hit and the sharp, familiar burn in his stomach followed. The ache pervaded every molecule of his body. His eyelids fluttered closed. Kaz sighed; his muscles went lax. The world as he knew it departed, becoming empty, flat, unrecognizable. Just another frantic case of people 'caught in the web.'

Those who resisted joined the 'disappeared,' as they were popularly referred to as. The First Order had gone from being a big annoyance to a scary, oppressive presence. These pestilential invaders controlled lives here on the Colossus now, meting out punishment when they saw fit. The First Order's 'protection' was a lie. The First Order _Empire_ , FOE, wanted dominance. That was plain. Every day, they trashed the lives of people, who wanted nothing more than to live a low-key life here on this platform.

The nerve of them, ordering that _all_ pilots be grounded, and _all_ races canceled!

At least Aunt Z, Hype and Shorty got away, bound for Tadodana to seek out the friend Aunt Z said she could count on for help. Kaz's hopes and good wishes were with her, Hype Fazon, and Shorty.

"You are all kinds of brave, Torra."

"Thanks, Kaz. So are you."

In this corridor they traveled, Torra was a few steps ahead of him. She was thinking that maybe instead of going to Yeager's garage, Kaz and she could go to her cabin for that new game of flight simulator she loved so much.

"Hey, I've got an idea," she piped up suddenly.

Kaz, a good deal bemused, only half-heard her. That kick in the face the stormtrooper he had tussled with had given him, felt like it had dislocated his jaw. Maybe it would be a good idea to visit Aunt Z's bar for some ice, first, and then see Yeager.

"Kaz!" Torra called loudly, halting her dash for Yeager's garage.

"I'm right here, no need to yell," he softly spoke. The ringing in his ears was getting louder. He might need to see a medic. Especially if this slight dizziness didn't go away.

"We should square off for my great new flight simulator game. The one you have no idea how great it is. Don't take my word for it. You need to check it out for yourself."

Kaz threw her an improbable look. " _Not now_ , Torra."

She could be reasonable. "Uh, okay…if not now…then, later. After you see Yeager. Then, we can go play the—"

" _No_." He assumed an even stronger no-nonsense tone. "After I talk with him, I'm paying a visit to the medic."

Alarmed, Torra stared him dead in the face, with her hands on her very shapely hips for her age. "What's _wrong_?"

"I'm not feeling too well. I nearly got my brains knocked out of my head by that crazy stormtrooper."

"Oh, Kaz—are you going to faint?" Concern leaped from Torra's lovely, young face. It occurred to her that she should have blasted the stormtrooper who had done that to him, first.

"I don't think so, but better to be safe than sorry. I've got this annoying ringing in my ears, and I've never felt this dizzy before." Under his breath, he intimated, "Carrying a blaster at all times is an idea I'm liking better all the time."

Torra scooted right up beside him. In the event that he keeled over, he'd have her to support him. Mixing it up with trained soldiers was tough; after all, they were just zealous, good-hearted kids. What did they really know about hand-to-hand combat? Fortunate for them they hadn't been maimed, or killed.

"Maybe you should see the _medic first_. I'll go with you too, just in case you need to lean on me if you get woozy on the way, and fall down."

"Yeager first, then the medic. C'mon. I can make it." Sheer force of will would see him through.

Torra nodded, and got ahead of him again.

"We're almost there," Kaz informed. He had to think. Was this possibly the first time for Torra paying Yeager a visit? Funny how he wasn't sure whether it was, or it wasn't. Had the kick in the head given him some dodgy form of amnesia?

Perhaps all he really needed was to hit the sack, and get quality sleep after a long day's work against the FO.

The blast doors parted, and in rushed Torra, who stopped dead in her tracks. Hadn't they just left a mess of stormtroopers behind? Well, apparently, there were plenty more where those had come from. She looked surprised more than afraid. Kaz's heart dropped about as far down as a plummet from the Colossus would have landed him. He spied Yeager right off, then Neeku. Sad, the Kadas'saNikto male looked glad to see him. Kaz thought he saw Tam too, but he wasn't certain about that. He was too busy working hard not to topple off his feet. This space he and these others were inhabiting was tilting like diverse objects in zero gravity.

Commander Pyre was speaking, words that sounded unbelievable, and foreign. His words made Kaz's heart race. " _Kazuda Xiono_ , you and _Team Fireball_ are under arrest!"

Kaz wished that he had chosen to see the medic first instead of ending up here like this, mired in the First Order's clutches. There was no escape, not this time. He swallowed; what little saliva he had went down hard. Helplessness crashed down. His mind wafted, along with his nerve, and somewhere in the back of it, the sound of Synara San's voice cried out to him.

" _Kaz, don't worry. It's all going to be all right…_ "

He closed his eyes, hoping so, with all of his might.


	8. Chapter 8

So, it was down to this. The First Order wanted them gone! To join the growing numbers of the disappeared. Bucket had come through, saving them initially. Stormtroopers had blasted him, putting his functionality in jeopardy. Having the mechanics' skill to thank, R1-J5 was with them, fully-functional again. And, the kids, Elia and Kel were all right too. The brave, young survivors of their homeworld, Tehar. Its merciless destruction by the First Order had left them destitute, but not hopeless. Fearlessly, the sister and brother had stepped in, in the nick of time, just as those stormtroopers had cornered Kaz, Neeku and CB-23. 

 What was left of Team Fireball was laying low.

 "So, what happens now?" Neeku, disoriented and skittish, framed that question for Kaz.

 

The young pilot was jumpy as well. Their escape had been narrow, harrowing to the nth degree. "We sit tight for now, and figure out a way to rescue Tam and Yeager." Kaz was beside himself. Her capture had him feeling guilty; Tam was a bystander. Now she was the First Order's prisoner. She'd had no idea he was a spy for the Resistance.

"But how are we supposed to do _that_ , Kaz?" Neeku demanded, his voice having risen higher. More emotionally. His shoulders rose and fell. How their lives had been turned upside down in a matter of moments. The First Order's threat was very real, no longer some vague imposition. The odds were impossible. They truly were in danger.

"At the moment, I have no idea, but I'm working on it. There's no way we forget about our friends. We're Team Fireball! No one—not even the dumb First Order can break _us_ up!" Brave talk that was, but the truth was worrisome thoughts hounded Kaz even as he spoke those words. He'd made so many mistakes thus far in the name of espionage. Although his heart was in the right place, he had embarked upon responsibility he'd had no inkling would test him so thoroughly.

CB-23 circled around him, throwing many suggestions at him. Translation was: " _We need to create distractions—right now—let's go—what are we waiting for?_ "

When the feisty 'rollie' slowed its frenetic roll, Kaz gave his dome several pats. "First things first, CB. We run the risk of failing miserably by acting rashly. We must strategize before we make any moves."

"That's a great idea, Kaz," Kel praised, with his sister avidly agreeing with her brother.

His initial plan that had entailed lowering the station into the sea to get to the communications tower had succeeded. Of course, the platform would've sunk if it hadn't been for Captain Doza's cooperation. The connection imposed by the First Order had been broken so they could get a message out to General Organa. Sadly, while performing the sabotage, Yeager had been taken prisoner. He'd sacrificed himself to save Kaz.

Lamentably, the Resistance had no resources to spare, according to Organa. They weren't coming, but the resistance here had each other. Kaz clung to that conviction, it warming his heart and mind, giving him strength and courage. He was about to speak, but snapped his mouth shut.

The oddest sensation gripped him, calmness seeped into his soul. Was his confusion lifting, or was he imagining it was, grasping at straws? Where everyone was talking at once, they quieted down as one person. Kaz hadn't told them to hush. He strained to hear what the voice in his head was trying to tell him. Maybe his friends crowding around him could hear it too. Why else had this strange hush fallen over them?

Gulping, Kaz whispered, "Synara…is that…you?" What was going on? It was nearly as it had been hearing her not long ago. Hearing her this time was different. He couldn't explain exactly what made it different. It just was. She sounded more forceful and distinct, zealously decisive.

_Kaz, we intercepted your message. The one meant for the Resistance. We're on our way._

This time, he spoke to her mentally, watching his curious friends eyeing him. _'Who is we? Who's with you, Synara?'_

_I'm with my associates, Kaz. With Kragen Gorr, and his crew. Where are you?_

_'In hiding.'_   He was reluctant to accept it, but she was with her pirates. Kaz couldn't hold back from thinking that.

_Stay where you are for the time being. I'll be in touch again once we're closer._

_'Tam and Yeager are prisoners of the First Order. We must get to them as soon as we can!'_

_We'll help get them back for you. See you soon, Kaz. I realize it's not easy, but do your best to remain calm._

_'We'll try. Can't wait to see you again too, Synara—and thanks! Thanks for coming to help us! We need it!'_

_We'll kick the First Order off the Colossus. Promise!_

Hearing her make that promise allayed his agitation, aiding in his cutting back his apprehension. His confidence renewed, he stridently announced to the group:

"Good news, everybody! Reinforcements are on the way. They'll be here shortly."

" _Who_ will be here, Kaz?" Neeku studied him thoughtfully, suspecting his friend was about to divulge more secrets he'd kept from them. Talk about someone being what being close-mouthed meant.

Proudly, Kaz declared, "The pirates! Synara's bringing them!"

_Too bad, so sad_ , Neeku thought, casting sorrowful eyes at the pretender mechanic. "Sorry you've lost your mind, Kaz. See what faking what you truly are gets you."

Kaz shook his head. "I'm not crazy. It's true! I've just spoken to her! For real!"

"How? How did you speak with her? There's no communications link here," Neeku brooded. _Kaz misses her so much, he's compulsively fantasizing about her,_ the sympathetic Kadas'saNikto commiserated.

Kaz opened his mouth, but right away banged it tightly shut. He looked all of the group over, and shrugged. "You'll see. They'll be here any minute now."

"Yes, Kaz, yes..." Neeku hung his head, unable to look his once sane friend in the face. 


	9. Chapter 9

Kaz's eyes bugged out. Horror laced with panic gripped him. All-embracing hopelessness and catastrophic dread had him by the throat. This was no dream; this was reality in all its naked cruelty. He collapsed, shutting down, and Torra, gasping, raced to his side. What they had just witnessed the First Order do was incomprehensible.

It did explain what had occurred to those hollowed-out planets, now floating husks in space, Poe and he had come upon. The First Order fiends had Starkiller-ized them, as they had now done to his beloved home—Hosnian Prime! Senseless destruction of such magnitude wielded by brutal maniacs!

Kaz's face fell into his right hand, and he couldn't help sobbing inconsolably. Seeing the obliteration of what mattered most to him by way of holographic projection was the worse thing he'd ever seen in his life. His unsuspecting parents hadn't had any warning whatsoever! It was the worst thing that inconceivably could have happened. All of his friends and family on the planet at the time—wiped out in less than a flash of an instant! Kaz buckled in revulsion.

He felt Torra's hand on his shoulder. Devastated, Kaz shuddered, unmitigated grief wracked his body. His breathing faltered.

"Kaz! Kaz!"

Torra's voice sounded very far away. Kaz's mind somersaulted.

All of a sudden, he was hyperventilating. He struggled, trying to catch his breath, but that was like attempting to catch the wind to stuff into a bottle. In moments, images before his eyes became fuzzier. Light-headedness prevented him from thinking clearly. His arms, and around his mouth, tingled. Kaz wanted to speak, but intelligible speech wasn't happening. All he was managing were grunts and gurgles.

He felt a tug on his shoulder, and his friend's voice urging him to lie on his back. Torra made sure they were well out of the stormtroopers' sight, tucked into a convenient alcove. "Breathe deeply, a lot more slowly. Relax. You can do it. Keep focusing on your breathing, Kaz." Despite her youth, Torra knew her instructions, that came straight out of a first aid holograph. She relieved Kaz of the blaster, placing the weapon on his stomach. By placing the object on his abdominal area it would help him keep focus on his abs, providing resistance to strengthen the muscles responsible for abdominal breathing.

"That's right. Breathe through your nose. In, out. In, out. Comfortable, deep, rhythmic breaths. In, out. Smoother breaths. Smoother…that's right. Good. Only your stomach should be moving. Relax the rest of your body." She held one of his hands in both of hers. In time, she saw he was doing much better. His natural coloring replaced the ashen aspect of his face. He didn't seem as disoriented, or panicked. His hands no longer spasmed. "You're all right now, Kaz." Yes, although young, the kid had poise. She could've worn a T-shirt with the slogan that read: _Grace Under Pressure…Hello_.

"I…I couldn't catch my breath. It was like I forgot how to breathe," Kaz stammered, mindful about keeping his voice down. He certainly had come around. As Flix in the box had quipped, it was too stormtroopery everywhere, here. Kaz was back on high-alert.

"Has this happened to you before?"

He wasn't sure. Sluggishly, he replied, "If so, I can't remember. All I know is how I felt was the worst."

"Understandable. The First Order has a weapon capable of monstrous destruction."

"And they've done that—destroyed the flesh and blood I came from." His tone hardened, yet cracked when he spoke again. "They've been ripped from me!" His hands became fists. "I must have revenge!"

Torra, caught up in the moment, his anger, and the depth of his pain, welded her arms around him. She had no words to make things right, she only had her unwavering determination to comfort him as best she could. She would never say what most folks, who meant well, said when they thought it could help, _'I know how you feel_.' She could empathize freely, thinking about her father being held, and stick with Kaz through 'thick and thin,' as older folks would say.

"What are we going to do now, Kaz? I hate to say it, but after what we've seen, we're way out of our league."

Like lommite ore, a major component of transparisteel that made it inflexible, and ingeniously tough, Kaz's resolve resounded when he said, "We fight—to win—by any means possible. Our first step…we free _your father, Yeager, and Tam_! Beyond that, we need reinforcements. I thought I would've heard from Synara and—"

"Pirates against that nightmarish starkilling thing? Not a chance."

Suddenly, CB-23 fast-rolled into view. Having witnessed Kaz's distress and subsequent incapacitation, the rolling astromech droid was in a state. Internalizing its inadequacy, it wished its wands were long enough and flexible enough to wrap around Kaz the way bipedal humanoids used their arms. The droid was pleased with what greeted him. Xiono appeared fully-functional again. Who deserved the credit for that? Whoever was responsible deserved a hug too.

Kaz lifted the droid into his arms, and looked it straight in its photoreceptor. "CB, we're going to need your help!"

 _No surprise there_ , the plucky machine processed. _When didn't these enigmatic lifeforms need it_?

"We're gonna have to work the problem from the inside," Kaz remarked, sort of off the top of his head.

Torra, regretting that she'd sounded a bit negative, offered, "You mean like more spying, and sabotage?"

He was on his feet, and peeking out of the alcove, making sure the coast was clear. "Sabotage. That definitely has possibilities."

"What'll we sabotage?" Torra asked, excitement underlying the femininity of her voice.

"CB, this is what I want you to do…"

 

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

"We have no idea where we're going." It should've been D'Qar, but it was anybody's guess where they'd wind up. Just when Kaz thought the impossible couldn't happen, the impossible was happening. He blinked rapidly, several times. Here she was, standing before him, with her fellow pirates. To say he was glad to see Synara was the biggest understatement. "Thanks for all your help, Sy."

She must have convinced them that joining the Resistance, and coming to help them fight back against the First Order here on Castilon was ultimately in their best interests too.

"No need to thank us, Kaz. The First Order is poison. They must be stopped." She laughed along with Kragen and the ragtag bunch of space marauders, one and all, under Kaz's grateful eyes. They were a close-knit band, this Warbird Gang. Synara continued, "We've gone rogue, as have you and your fellow citizens of the Colossus." She gave a curt snort. "Nice to see it was strong enough and lightspeed-worthy to survive the First Order's savage attack. What a surprise for them, seeing the station/ship vanish into thin air."

"You can say that again." Kaz looked about them. Off to his left, the pirate sail barge, the _Galleon_ , had been set down. His demeanor deflated a tad. "We escaped. Hosnian Prime, and other worlds can't say the same. Their Starkiller Base wiped them all out." Kaz buried his face in his hands. And then there was _Tam_ , succumbing to the First Order's insidious brainwashing. He wished he could've told her. Maybe things might've come out differently.

He'd told Synara where he'd come from, and how close he was to his folks. His pain was painfully evident. Synara was quick to commiserate. "I'm so sorry, Kaz." What more could she say, without sounding inept?

"Thank you, Sy. I just wished I could've seen my parents one last time." His breath catching, he was misty-eyed, and more committed than ever to routing the common foe. _Don't let her—and her tough friends see you lose it_ , Kaz told himself. _Not now! Later when your defiant tears come, and you cry yourself to sleep like a baby_.

"We all must fight back! _All_ pirates, _all_ sentients _everywhere_ in this galaxy must stand united!" Impassioned, Kragen shared a raw look with Synara. "If we don't fight to win, this galaxy won't be fit to live, and loot in."

The Battle of Castilon was only the beginning. The _Galleon_ , though hit a few times, hadn't been seriously damaged, and had proven too agile for the Star Destroyer and the TIEs. The Warbird Gang weren't pirates for nothing, knowing scores of tricks requisite to craftily navigating space with the greatest of expertise. The proof was evident. They were safely aboard the Colossus, in this hangar, speeding to an unknown destination because Neeku had botched the coordinates.

Oh, well, nobody was perfect. The eccentric, talkative one  had come through when it had counted.

Kaz wished Kragen and his men would go away, and cease crowding Synara and him. It would be nice to have private time with her. Time well spent. He got close enough to her, and was able to whisper near her ear while Kragen joked with Valik and Drell. "Could I speak to you…alone? If that's okay."

Nodding, Synara spoke with her exotic eyes, letting Kaz know she was agreeable. "Kragan, if you would excuse me, I'd like to—"

"Then, run along." Kragen shot Kaz a sly look. The man was savvy, a knave to the core. He led these pirates. He had to be. "Play nice," he told them, his tone saucy, his encouragement concise.

When the reunited pair entered the lounge, Aunt Z was already behind the bar, looking as though she'd never been away. "Ah, Kaz, it's so good to be back. And, Synara…Synara is it?"

"Yes, it is." San smiled warmly at the gregarious, matronly Gilliand. There was artistry meshed with pathos in the buxom female.

"Make yourselves comfy. What'll you have?"

"What else?" Kaz humored, tilting his head toward Synara, who grinned at him, understanding. "Make it two blue milks, perfectly chilled. Just the way you always make them."

"Two chilly-blue-Banthas comin' right up," she promised, and threw herself into her task. Her place was crowded, but she prepared their order personally. It felt so good to be home, serving her dear friends. They meant much to her.

Synara and Kaz sat at their usual table. Usual, because they liked sitting beside the window closest to the mini atrium garden. Synara was a fan of decorative flora. Botanicals fascinated her. Aunt Z's foliage exuded the most delightful fragrances. And the colors were the likes of which she'd never seen.

"Kaz…"

He carefully raised his eyes to hers, giving her a tepid smile. "Guess I should explain."

"Explain?" Puzzlement was profound on her winsome face. "About what?"

His face fell. She must've forgotten it already. "Uh, the…kiss…" Why had that come out like a squeak?

To his deep amazement, she reached across the little chock table to slip her hand into his. As if in slow motion, she shifted to sit much closer to him. "There's more to you than meets the eye. I had this feeling about you from the start. And, no, I'm not Force sensitive, as certain ones are prone to say."

Hot under his collar, Kaz tried slowing his breathing, with little success. "Um…um. I, uh…"

"Kisses don't need explaining. They just need repeating, from someone…special, Kaz." Synara leaned in desiring to lean her lips against his cheek. Nuzzle that cheek, slowly work her lips to his.

And she would've too, if a certain Captain's daughter hadn't burst onto the scene, spotting them with the trained eye of a crack fighter pilot. "Kaz! Kaz!" Torra came running up to their table. "I've been looking all over for you! You owe me a game, y'know."

Sharply, Synara pulled back from the side of Kaz's grimacing face, gracing Torra with a patient smile. "Hi, Torra, how have you been?"

"Great! There's been too much excitement around here, but with all those creepy stormtroopers evicted, things'll be back to normal. _Yea_! Would you like to join Kaz and me for the new simulator game? I bet you're real good."

"Sounds wonderful," Synara supported, stealing a glance at Kaz.

"Torra—"

"Blue milks!" Aunt Z was setting down the delicious beverages. Since Torra had shown up, she assumed she'd be wanting one too. "Can I get you what they're having as well, dear?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Okay. Thanks."

"Sit," Synara cordially invited. "Tell me, how did you manage to kick the stormtroopers out? I need details to dream about."

"I'll be right back with your milk," Aunt Z guaranteed, scooting off.

"They got flushed out—tell her all about it, Kaz! You're much better with details than I am."

Suppressing the urge to tell Torra to get lost, because she truly was his friend, Kaz curbed his amorous advances towards Synara, and got into the details. He breathed life and daring exploit surrounding the First Order's watery explusion.

Unseen by Torra, Synara peacefully held Kaz's hand underneath the table, squeezing it appropriately throughout his spirited narrative.


	11. Chapter 11

Tam glared at the private comlink she'd just thrown down on her bunk. Kaz-what nerve he had, contacting her-wanting to explain! What was there to explain? She clutched the First Order pilot helmet in her hands. Anger swelled within her. Nothing Kaz had to say mattered. She was too far gone in her hard feelings. Kaz had lied to all of them, but he had especially lied to her over-and over! His lies had gone on forever, as far as she was concerned. What Kaz had done was pathological.

  
With her jaw hard-set, she fitted the pilot helmet on her head, beneath it, it was as if she could block out all the pain, and resentment she felt, would always feel toward Kaz-toward every last one of them aboard the Colossus. She had told the Commander that she was a true believer in what the First Order stood for, and she was resolved. She meant it. The First Order was just the thing this lawless galaxy needed to restore stability and peace. The Resistance had no future, not for itself, certainly not for her, and surely not for the galaxy.

  
Adjusting the helmet more firmly on her head, Tam thrilled to the prospect of being a real pilot. She was a good one, and the First Order was giving her the chance to prove how good she was. That was something the Resistance could never offer her; she was dead sure about that. She was an efficient mechanic, but her true talent lay in her formidable aerial abilities. Her comlink sounded again; she bristled.

  
"Go away, Kaz," she shouted to her quarters, her voice bouncing off the thick walls. She had no intention of speaking to the liar, no not ever again. "I'm helping my new friends, the First Order, who are giving me a real chance to prove my worth! They're more truthful than any of you phony friends ever were to me! Now-leave me alone!" She sailed to her bunk, snatched up the comlink, and switched it off, barring Kaz from bothering her further.

  
Removing the helmet, Tam sat down on her bunk, buried her face in her hands, and wept. She trusted her new friends, but deep down, she couldn't help but wonder...

  
How much do they really care about me?

  
Her comlink sounded again, and Tam winced. Was she losing it? She'd severed the contact-hadn't she? Swiping tears off of her face, she hesitated, then sure enough, Kaz's voice came over loud and clear:

  
"Tam, Tam-please-don't cut me off. Please-I'm begging you. Just hear me out. Okay?"

  
Sniffling, she stared at the device, letting the desperation accentuating Kaz's voice sink in. The liar sounded so sincere. Before Tam could block him yet again, he beseeched:

  
"You hate me, and what I did, not confiding in you. You have every right to. I've got to let you know that I was wrong, Tam. Dead wrong! If I had it to do over again, I would've never lied. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. Spying for the Resistance was overwhelming when I started out. I was so afraid I'd mess up, and I sort of did. Looking back, the biggest way I messed up was by not putting faith in you, and everybody because I thought that was the right thing to do.

  
"No matter what happens, I want you to know you'll always be my friend. You're the best; you need to know that. One of the best friends I've ever had. The best I ever hope to have. That's no lie. I also hope we see each other again, soon, someday--real soon. Well, that's what I had to tell you. Wherever you are, I wish only the best for you. You'll always deserve that. You're remarkable. And...Tam, the best thing you could do is to come back to us-your true friends. Please think it ov-"

  
She'd heard enough. This time, she grabbed the comlink, ended having to hear Kaz's lame speech, made doubly sure she blocked him, and tossed the comlink into the 'Fresher. She threw herself on the bunk, tore off the helmet, covered her head with the pillow, flopped back on the stiff mattress, and screamed at the top of her lungs.


	12. Chapter 12

"Your focus determines your reality." – Qui-Gon Jinn

 

 

She startled him, but it was a good start. It had been so long since he'd felt her wrapped around him. Synara clung to Kaz, holding him like he was her lifeline. Having Kaz in her arms felt incredible; their bond was undeniable, yet still new. When she delicately extracted herself from the spontaneous embrace, Kaz gazed into her soulful, exotic eyes.

He had no words, so Synara expressed, "You've been through a lot. I see it in your eyes." She grasped his hand, squeezing it, feeling him squeeze hers back. She saw his eyes brim with tears, so Synara led him to a nook near Aunt Z's bar where privacy abounded. Kaz let himself be led, he her willing captive. He blew out a shaky breath, and searched Synara's alluring face with teary eyes. When several tears fell, he did nothing to hide them from her.

"What is it?" Synara gently asked, pulling Kaz into her arms again, feeling him shudder against her. She mistook his tears for solid sadness, but he shed them partly out of joy, and partly for depression.

"My father is alive. He survived Hosnian Prime's destruction!"

"You are certain?"

Kaz blew out in a single breath, "Yes—he contacted me! We spoke not long ago!" He felt Synara's sharp intake of breath as she continued to hold him like she'd never let him go.

"That's wonderful, Kaz. I'm thrilled for you." Yet, she sensed foreboding tinged his happiness. "But, something's troubling you. What aren't you telling me?"

His desire to be more open with everyone, especially Synara, moved him to confess, "I've tried to contact Tam…" His voice petered out as though he was choking on those words. He refused to accept Ryvora's defection, feeling he was to blame. That belief gnawed at him like a Corellian Lemurr-roedor with the most snaggled teeth imaginable. Shivering, Kaz remembered what Yeager had told him Tam had said:

" _You! After all the work I did for you, trusting you, expecting a better life—all for nothing! You were like a father to me. But—all that was a lie!_ "

And Kaz felt like her brother…one who had failed her too. Hanging his head even lower, Kaz exclaimed, "She won't respond. I left her a long message, but she refuses to talk to me." He looked definitively disconsolate. "It's my fault she's thrown in with the First Order. All my fault!"

Synara strongly dissented. "She made her decision. She isn't a child. She took what you had to do all wrong."

Kaz embraced no other truth in the matter. "I should've been upfront about my reason for being on the Colossus instead of hiding who I was, what I was. What I was expected to accomplish."

She wasn't having it, not any part of his untenable self-guilting. If Tam were a true friend, she would've understood Kaz's intent for keeping his mission and its contingencies under wraps. "I think you're wrong," Synara insisted.

"I'm not!" Kaz snapped, slipping away from her arms.

She folded them across her chest, her facial expression part scowl, part pout. "Have it your own way, then." She saw no point in prolonging this pointless debate.

"I will! I'm right!"

Synara rapped her fingers against her right upper arm. "We agree to disagree."

Kaz sucked his teeth, out-of-sorts. "Yeah, okay. Whatever." Softly to himself, he muttered, "But I'm right." _If I hadn't lied, Tam would still be here, resisting the First Order right along with us._ His reasoned way of thinking satisfied him, but Synara's lack of comprehension was troubling. He forced himself to be, and sound, chipper. "How about we…" He didn't want to be at odds with her. She had returned along with her pirate buddies. He had resigned himself to never seeing her again. Yet, here she was, every beautiful, strong, brave inch of her. They should be celebrating, not squabbling like an old married couple. "Have a drink at Aunt Z's before we find Neeku and plot the quickest way to salvage coaxium. The hyperdrive can't refuel itself."

"That we can agree on," Synara conceded, impulsively linking arms with Kaz and they strolled off.

>>>>>>>>> 

Having retrieved the communicator she'd tossed, Tam felt obligated to listen to Kaz's message in its entirety. From the little she'd heard, his sincerity and his anguish-infused words had gotten to her. She would have listened to Kaz's continuation of pouring his heart out, but Jace Rucklin's surprise intrusion killed that plan. Jace in all of his blond handsomeness barged in and caught her. The hotshot pilot had overheard too much.

"Is that Kazuda?" he demanded, concluding he had a right to question Tam's loyalty.

Tam flinched, wishing she had listened to the message earlier instead of having rashly rejected it. "Uh…uh…"

Her hesitancy and her flustered demeanor settled this matter for him. "You must turn it in."

Every nerve fiber within clamored that she shouldn't, but, reluctantly, she obeyed, handing over Kaz's recorded tidings to Agent Tierny. Later, word came that the Colossus had been located. The First Order fleet would close in, and soon destroy the mobile aircraft refueling station and the Resistance scum aboard it. When the time came, Tierny ordered Tam to witness what allegiance to the First Order truly meant. Sickened by the proceedings, she gawked at the Colossus' fiery bombardment as she stood at Tierny's side on legs which felt like silly string. Tam sucked all the air out of the room, feeling woozy; this First Order Star Destroyer she was on rained salvo after salvo without letup. How much more could the Colossus take? Would all of _her friends_ die before her eyes? Tam failed stifling the gasp that escaped her.

Agent Tierny sensed Tam's discomfort while they watched the Colossus under fierce attack. The station's inexorable demise was imminent. Tierny needed Tam psychologically-compromised. What better way to tether Tam to her, use Tam for the First Order's advantage? This needy, former mechanic, who hoped to pilot a fighter, would be usable until she wasn't anymore. Then, instead of a cockpit, Tam would be led to an airlock…for speedy disposal.


	13. Chapter 13

Was this what she could expect from the First Order, to be callously treated unfairly? Would anything she accomplished be disregarded—discredited? She'd defected for this, had turned her back on her friends, only to wind up humiliated? That wasn't what she'd been promised. She'd been betrayed, and felt cheated. It occurred to her that was what Kaz, Neeku, Jarek Yeager, Hype Fazon, Torra and Captain Imanuel Doza, even CB 23 must have felt owed to her betrayal.

Glad she was in her quarters, Tam was free to reflect after the practice session that had almost been suicidal for Jace Rucklin. She'd saved his life, and had excelled in exhibiting grace under pressure. Commander Pyre had been impressed, but as far as Galek and Tierny were concerned, she'd failed to complete the mission; there was nothing commendatory about rescuing lesser pilots. She hadn't received praise for destroying the most X-wing drones. There had been rejection in their reprimand. She hadn't overachieved in their view; she'd fallen far short. She didn't deserve to be squadron leader.

Tam had double checked her quarter's door, making sure it was locked and backed-up by anti-break in protocol. Jace had thanked her, and if he had an idea about coming to see her, she wished to be left alone. She'd had enough of everyone, and especially the way the First Order conducted training for one day.

 _What do I do? Give the First Order another chance, and I stay? Or—do I leave these bullies, these partisans. I'm beginning to see them for what they really are. Every last untrustworthy one, the lot of them_.

A pang of remorse jabbed her, and Tam allowed it to sink in. She'd done her friends wrong. Kaz had acted unwisely, but he had never meant to intentionally hurt her. Her feelings had been hurt, but she had begun to see that Kaz and Yeager had had their reasons for their actions. The First Order's ruthlessness warranted its being brought down. Hadn't she seen that firsthand for herself when First Order stormtroopers had been stationed on the Colossus? Intimidation and repression had stalked everyone aboard the refueling platform back then. Was that what was in store for the galaxy if the First Order conquered star system after star system?

_What was I thinking? My anger thrusted me into a foolish course. I want to be a pilot, but for which side? For tyrants, or for freedom-fighters? My true friends._

That thought tossed her out of her bunk and onto her feet. She paced, keeping her rhythm brisk. She subjected the decision she'd made to abandon her friends to a brutal scrutiny.

 _I've made a big mistake—an impulsive, stupid mistake. I must get away from the First Order before it's too late_.

That was easier thought than done, she considered. Could she resign? Just step up to Tierny and Galek and tell them she wanted out? Being a First Order flunky wasn't what she wanted for herself any more. Tam's eyes widened in trepidation. She had to get out. That one note sounded in her head.

 _I will get out of here_ …

Wearily, she trudged back to her bunk, and laid herself down. The mantra tranquilized her, lulling her into a deep, psychogenic sleep—

The Colossus swallowed her up, its massive bulk burgeoning all around her. Her voice sounded faraway in her ears. "Help—help—help me—please!" All of a sudden, a cacophony of voices hawked. They boomed her name, but she couldn't recognize its sound; what they hollered wasn't what she was used to hearing. And, their voices hounded her with each desperate breath she took.

Morbidity chilled her. Was she sick, but didn't know it?

Dream Tam glimpsed what she wore, which was in sharp contrast to her usual attire. Instead of mechanics' clothes, or those of pilots', she had on a long, flowing tunic. Its bodice was pure spun tulle. The garment fit her well, and its color, neon pink, suited her deep complexion far better than the First Order's drab, monochromic color schemes.

The noise level rose, forcing dream Tam to cover her ears with vibrating hands. The discordant racket grew louder.

"Stop—I can't hear myself think! What is happening to me? Where are you? Show yourselves—at once!"

'You know us. You left us for darkness and corruption, but we never left you.'

Dream Tam shuddered violently, swirling in the void. Her desperation soaring ever higher, she clawed at the sudden shaft of piercing bright light, extending to her in the form of an abrupt platform. At the same time, as best as it could be perceived in this context, the voices became staticky. So much so that covering her ears again this time did nothing to muffle the ruckus. When would this ruction cease, or at least subside?

These unrelenting voices were driving her mad. They would have if it wasn't for the silk and honey intervention of what sounded like Kaz's clear, calm, soothing voice, calling to her. His candor was uncomplicated. Dream Tam rejoiced because now she understood that he was saying her name, which she thoroughly recognized.

Succinctly, Dream Kaz said, "Tam, come home. Home is where you belong. Home, with us." He stuck out his hand for her to grab; she went for it with all her might. "That's right—don't let go. I've got you. We all do. We'll never let you go."

Tam awoke with the jolt of her movement. She realized where she was, but smiled all the same. There was a way out of this mess she'd plunged herself into. She'd watch, and wait, and when the time was right, she'd contact Kaz to follow his voice home where she belonged. In the meantime, she'd play along, learn what she could of First Order secrets. They sought to use her, well, she'd turn the tables. She would use them to help the Resistance all she could.


	14. Chapter 14

What Neeku had come up with was a stroke of genius. The projection-effect illusion he'd created, mimicking the Castilon sky over the station's marketplace was phenomenal. It was proving to be a real morale-booster. The community as a whole was doing better. Fewer residents wanted to leave as opposed to the malcontents who had wanted to cut loose and run. Fresh food was a huge incentive. Many minds had been changed because feeding on Jakoosk was better than starving.

Kaz had eaten his fill, but presently he was paying the price. Roasted Jakoosk was delicious if you liked greasy, gamey meat, and you weren't allergic to it. Kaz hadn't had any idea that he was until about one hour later he broke out in hives the size of chance cubes all over his body. Big, red welts which itched something fierce. Home remedies had been suggested, mainly from Aunt Z, but so far, nothing worked to stop his maddening itching.

Presently, Kaz was in his 'fresher, seeking what little relief he could gain from standing beneath the shower spray. Lukewarm water helped a bit, but he knew he'd have to come away sooner or later. Water restrictions were in place. _A few more minutes_ , he told himself. At least his wet skin didn't itch as much. He shut his eyes, set the water to run harder, and wished he had never heard of Jakoosk. Maybe some nice Bantha steaks would've been the better choice, if the mammoth creatures had been available. Over the noise in his mind, he heard his door alert sound.

"Just a second," he sang out, shutting off the water. He hustled out of the shower stall, and wrapped himself up in his tufted bathroom. "Coming…" he assured, racing up to the door. Before activating it, he checked who it was first. Seeing who his visitor was pleased him, and rattled him at the same time. _This isn't a good time_ , he silently grumbled. He bolted back to the 'fresher.

"Are you going to let me in?" Synara demanded.

"Yeah, yeah—sure," Kaz said, feeling the prickling itch start up again underneath the robe, he grabbed, along with his drawers. It just felt wrong not having anything on underneath his robe. _What if I get excited, and she sees more than she should all because it's easy enough for her to see_? He activated the door, and in walked Synara, lovely and ever-ready to take charge as usual.

"How are you feeling?"

Kaz's overwhelming desire to scratch his skin off was driving him crazy. "I'm going out of my mind—I don't know how much more of this I can take!" He gyrated and wriggle-wiggled beneath his robe, his skin his worst enemy right now. "I need something—anything—to make this impossible itchiness stop!"

That was Synara's cue. Following Kaz's crazed plea for relief, she produced an ovid obsidian-red container. "This might help."

"What is it?" The attractive container caught his eye, and commanded his full attention despite his insidious affliction.

"An emollient from my world, Mirial. My home is a cold, dry place. Skin is subjected to brutal extremes. Lotions like these help protect, and soothe skin irritations."

"I'm itching to death! Think that stuff can help me?"

Synara handed the container to him. "I would not have brought it to you if I did not believe so. Go into the 'fresher. Apply it liberally."

Kaz brought the container close to his eyes before uncapping it. He took a whiff, and was pleasurably surprised. Her gift smelled great. "Does this have a name?"

She nodded. "Occiton. You are holding a balm in its purest form. The sooner you use it, the sooner you will experience its soothing effects."

Kaz went into the 'fresher and self-applied Occiton everywhere the itch was strong with him. Slathering it on his front wasn't a problem, for his back, he would need help. He stuck his head out of the 'fresher, and requested, "A little help, Syn. My back itches the worst, and I can't get at it."

She was happy to oblige, applying her remedy as if she had been doing this for him for years. Kaz's muscular torso she judged a work of art, definitely worthy of her careful ministrations as she admired his physique. She hoped Kragen Gorr had no intention of leaving the Colossus behind anytime soon. The longer the decision to stay with this community was intact, the more time she would have to be with Kaz.

"It's cool and refreshing. It's doing the trick. My skin feels even better than before I had the allergic reaction."

"Frequent reapplication is mandatory," Synara stipulated. "I will be happy to assist you with your back, throughout your flare-up."

Short moments later, Kaz dropped his mouth open, and he startled. "Syn—uh—uh—is this s-supposed to happen?" He gawked at himself in the bathroom mirror, gripping the edge of the sink. "I'm turning purply—is this normal?"

"Perfectly. The polyols and lyals are reacting with your derma's chemistry."

"Is it safe?" Kaz voiced, filled with wonder. "And permanent?" If this color change was, he could live with it. He adored her pigmentation. It would be one more thing they had in common.

"Again, perfectly. And, no. Your natural coloring will return within an hour Occiton use is discontinued."

"Oh…" Kaz said, sounding disappointed.

"What's wrong?" Synara asked, regarding him curiously.

"If I stayed your color, I could live with it."

Regarding him, and allowing what he'd just said sink in, she replied, "Your back requires more Occiton. Allow me…"

"Thanks, Syn, I don't mind if you do. Take as much time as you need. I'm enjoying this."

 _As am I_ … She smiled, giving his exquisitely-sculpted deltoids exceptional care. Her hands on his robust body twitched, and Synara's smile deepened.


End file.
